Pilfering wire hangers to fix his TV antenna, Martin discovers a bloody pipe wrench in Frasier’s closet that links to a decade-old homicide where the prime suspect was a shadowy mafia hitman known only as “The Elite”. Niles opens a carbonated beverage only to have it spray all over his suit. Daphne laughs and admits to playing a practical joke on him, but the neurotic therapist reacts by violently shaking a bottle of champagne and popping the cork at her head in a fit of rage. The cork travels clean through her skull, killing her instantly and leaving a walnut-sized exit wound in the back of her head. After Daphne misses several therapy appointments, Martin travels to her and Niles’ residence where he finds the body. He immediately comes to the conclusion that Frasier, The Elite, has killed Daphne due to trademark signs of the legendary assassin’s professionalism: A lack of powder burn near the wound and the shell casing and bullet removed from the scene.
Martin races back to the condo to confront Frasier but finds the place completely cleaned out but for some hooks and wires on the walls and a vase in the middle of the room bearing a single orchid. In a panic, the old man suddenly realizes he has no idea where Niles is either. He then receives a phone call from a friend in the police department informing him that they have hauled Frasier in on a murder charge after an anonymous informant tipped them off about a bloody pipe wrench in his closet.
As the credits roll, Niles is shown speeding down a desert highway in his Mercedes, dressed in a black suit, leather gloves and dark glasses. As he tears across a border checkpoint into Mexico, a single orchid is tossed from the driver-side window, and bounces to a stop in the blood-red sand.
Martin’s habit of eating junk food while soaking in Frasier’s spacious jacuzzi leads to an ant infestation in the drain. Frasier is initially frustrated to have to take only showers while the tub is being deloused, but is surprised at how much he enjoys them. He soon begins singing a foul song in the shower stall each morning describing his most horrendous secret exploits, adding a new verse every day.
Seemingly endless waves of bustling commuters trap Niles in an elevator for a whole afternoon. Having had enough, the nervous doctor desperately clambers onto the shoulders of his fellow passengers and escapes through an emergency grate in the ceiling, only to emerge into a filthy metal tunnel lined with damp, vine-like growths he has no choice but to climb towards safety.
By the end of the week, Frasier’s ballad has grown into a grotesquely detailed rhyming aria which he bellows at the top of his lungs during showers so prolonged they affect the entire building’s hot water supply, leading to a lineup of ornery tenants forming outside his apartment door. Martin meanwhile attempts to recreate his bathside buffet in his own much smaller tub, quickly becoming crammed between the faucet and a TV tray of chilli cheese fries. Attempting to extricate himself by hooking his cane around the shower head, the old man accidentally tears a large section of pipe out of the ceiling. The sudden backup of water pressure blows out all the walls of the entire apartment, leaving a naked Frasier obliviously singing his own demented praises in his transparent shower stall, surrounded by the ruins of his condo as most of the building’s residents look and listen on in horror. By the time he’s reached the crescendo, two news helicopter are broadcasting live from outside the balcony.
The episode’s final scene shows a disgraced Frasier leaving the living room of his still-in-repair apartment as Martin and Daphne howl with laughter at the umpteenth news replay of his ghastly spectacle. Put off of showers, he resolves to take a well-deserved soak in his jacuzzi…. and finds an ant-sized Niles struggling to emerge from the tub drain. Frasier stares in shock, then slowly reaches for the faucet.
In an apparent unexplained retconning of the series’ points of origin, Frasier leaves Seattle on a trip to Manchester to find a physical therapist for Martin. He begs Niles to come with him, but Niles is in love with Maris, and refuses to leave. Martin, however, has decided otherwise, and orders that Niles must “leave at daybreak” to aid his brother. During a tearful farewell with Maris, the two marry, and Niles promises to return as soon as he can.
In Manchester, Niles finds Frasier scouting to hire Daphne, daughter of the shrill pub landlady Gertrude Moon. Despite his commitment to Maris, Niles falls instantly in love with Daphne and vows to win her. Because Gertrude suspects that Frasier seeks to whisk her daughter away, she locks Daphne nightly in the flat above the pub, to which she keeps the only key. However, Frasier tells Niles that he plans to free her by means of a rope ladder, and together, they will flee back to Seattle where she will move in with himself and Martin. A jealous Niles immediately informs Gertrude, who subsequently has Frasier arrested by a corrupt, alcoholic police constable and run out of town on a rail. While wandering outside Manchester, Frasier runs afoul of a gang of soccer hooligans. Frasier lies, saying he was banished for “offing a bloke with a cricket bat at a Footy match”, and the hooligans elect him their leader.
Maris decides to join her husband in Manchester, and convinces her maid Marta to disguise her as a boy so she will not be taken advantage of on the long flight. Once in Manchester, Maris quickly discovers Niles’ love for Daphne, watching him attempt to serenade her with zither music. Maris contrives to pose as his new office boy – a youth named ‘Morris’ – until she can decide upon a course of action, but soon discovers that Daphne scorns Niles’ affections and is disgusted that he would forget about his love back home, i.e. Maris herself. Daphne mourns the loss of Frasier as a potential employer, whom Niles has told her is rumoured dead.
Not persuaded of Frasier’s death, Daphne skips town with the help of Esteban de Rojo, an Argentinian polo player and former suitor to Maris. They escape into the forest but are confronted by the soccer hooligans and taken captive. The ruffians head to their leader (Frasier), but on the way, they encounter Niles and Maris (still disguised as Morris). Niles absconds with Daphne, then pursues her deeper into the forest. Secretly observed by Frasier, Niles attempts to persuade Daphne that he loves her, but she rejects his advances. Furious and mad with desire, Niles insinuates that he will rape her (“I’ll force thee yield to my desire”).
At this point, Frasier intervenes and denounces Niles. Horrified at what has happened, Niles vows that the disdain Frasier feels for him is nothing compared to his own self-loathing. Convinced that Niles’ repentance is genuine, Frasier forgives him and seems to offer Daphne to him. Esteban then punches Frasier in the face but is immediately killed by Maris with a crossbow, her disguise falling off in the process. Upon seeing this, Niles suddenly remembers his love for her and vows fidelity to her once again.
Gertrude and Martin arrive, and Martin claims Daphne as his new physical therapist. Frasier then warns Gertrude that if she attempts to keep Daphne cooped up, he will uses his connections to have her pub’s liquor license revoked. Gertrude, impressed by Frasier’s tenacity, approves the Cranes as Daphne’s new employers. The family is happily united, and Gertrude invites them, along with the hooligans, all back to the pub to watch the footy match against Liverpool.
Frasier buys out an entire screening of a much-anticipated art film to be able to watch with a luxurious feeling of increased exclusivity, and without fear of impolite audience members. The plan goes awry when he begins to feel occasional kicks to the back of his seat, and can only cast glares back at the entirely empty theater. Daphne attempts to converse with Niles over breakfast, but is frustrated when he ignores her, his face blocked by a newspaper with deliberate intensity. Eventually becoming fed up and tearing the paper away, she’s aghast to find only a garish ceramic cactus lamp with a crude face drawn on it sitting in her husband’s chair. Martin has a moment of inspiration while scarfing spray-cheese, and just two food processors, a caulking gun and a tube of glycerin later, the ex-cop has invented spray-steak, spray ribs and spray-pork rinds. Roz sits alone in her decaying apartment wearing a threadbare cocktail dress, consumed with thoughts of revenge against no jilting lover in particular.
Frasier and Niles spend a rainy afternoon at the condo, mulling over their years of torment at the hands of bullies during their youth. They come upon the conclusion that it was mostly brought on by their relatively unorthodox and vaguely elitist names. Deciding to put themselves on a path to reconnect with American middle class society, Frasier and Niles change their names to “Grant Dunn” and “Bruce McMurray”, respectively. Shortly thereafter, they are inundated with letters from various universities, medical boards and social clubs informing the pair that all their degrees and memberships are being revoked, as they were only initially granted in deference to their ‘upper class’ names and in spite of both brothers’ considerable incompetence.
Martin plays a lewd game of ‘pop goes the weasel’ with some children in the park, while two officers stand idly by, doing nothing out of respect for Martin’s years of service. Shockingly, none of the parents seem to mind either, chalking the old man’s behavior up to adorable senility. Eventually, two shabby good Samaritans are seen dragging Martin away from the playground and beating him to pulp. The camera turns to face the men revealing it to be a disheveled Niles and Frasier, wiry and filthy from months of unemployment and homelessness. Catching scent of their first potential meal in over two weeks, the boys begin to hungrily devour their own father. It is only during this frenzy that the brothers have a flash of insight about the Oedipal ramifications of what they are doing and ultimately submit a paper for publication written on a napkin, which restores their credentials and reputations thanks to its brilliance. Back in his condo at last, Frasier keeps Martin’s picked-clean skull on his bedside table as a grim reminder of how far he fell, and the act of depravity that returned him to dominance.
Daphne informs Roz of how women actually get pregnant, causing Roz to rethink her life.
Expecting both a date and a confrontation with Cam Winston on the same night, Frasier’s prank of leaving a bucket of inferior wine over his apartment door leads to a comical mishap. Niles goes on a literally breathtaking tour of Seattle after getting his suspenders caught in the door of the L-Train. Martin and Eddie get baited into a three-way staring contest with a shoebill that alights on the balcony rail. Daphne has to secretly fix one of Frasier’s prized objets d’art after accidentally shattering it with a whack from a Terry’s Chocolate Orange.
It’s Seattle’s annual Aviation week, and when Frasier is invited to give the keynote speech for a prestigious Air Force ball, he challenges himself to learn semaphore in the hopes of creating a unique and memorable display. An envious Niles uses his museum board connections to secure a gig organizing the concurrent World War II exhibit, but when kicked out of the house by Maris yet again, he’s forced to store copious amounts of war memorabilia and decorations at his brother’s condo. Fooling around with the artifacts while getting ready for the event, a nostalgic Martin accidentally primes an old hand grenade and is unable to disarm it after Eddie runs off with the pin. He’s then forced to spend the entire gala squeezing the handle down for dear life while having to awkwardly hide his grenade-hand from Frasier, Niles and eventually an attractive coat-check girl who seems to be flirting with him constantly.
The ceremony starts and Frasier begins his performance with pride, but disaster strikes when he realizes the “authentic semaphoric signal flags” he pilfered from Niles’ exhibits are actually vintage Nazi marching banners. As the crowd of angry veterans swarms the stage wielding cutlery and decorative bayonets, Frasier attempts to hold them off with a passionate speech on the value of peace and diplomacy in the face of dangerous miscommunications. The soldiers are on the verge of being convinced, but their combat instincts are suddenly kicked back into action by a loud explosion from the women’s cloakroom.
While Niles and Frasier are enjoying lattes on the patio of Café Nervosa, Niles nonchalantly predicts rain. Frasier scoffs and dismisses the notion as “patently absurd”. Martin finds a full page advertisement in the newspaper that simply reads “WHY WAIT?”. The ad, conspicuously devoid of context, is enough to push Martin’s lingering dissatisfaction with life to a tipping point. He becomes an unrelenting yes-man and within hours finds himself several thousand dollars wealthier, completely lost, bleeding profusely and possibly infected with gonorrhoea. Roz gets caught in a love triangle, and with only twenty minutes of oxygen available she must quickly devise an escape plan. Daphne tries escargot but can’t get over the guilt of eating something that “clearly had no chance”. Frasier develops trench foot after getting soaked in an unexpected downpour.
Frasier, Niles, Martin, Daphne and Roz are gathered one evening for a quiet dinner celebration in honour of Martin’s birthday. When Daphne quips that in the decade she has been taking care of Martin he appears to have barely aged a day, Martin laughs uneasily and quickly changes the subject.
Frasier takes issue with Roz’s new boyfriend, who happens to be a heavily tattooed and pierced bike courier. Later, when driving home after work, Frasier accidentally runs over a man on a bicycle with his BMW, and panics when it turns out to be Roz’s new beau. Thinking fast, he kidnaps a homeless man, brings him to a local tattoo parlour and has him inked and pierced in the exact fashion of Roz’s ex-boyfriend, paying him a daily wage to play the part. Roz notices nothing for weeks, but all is revealed when Frasier’s previous assertion that she was only attracted to his bad-boy image proves so correct he cannot resist gloating - “Not since Giacomo Casanova himself has the world seen such a forthright voluptuary!”.
Niles, exhausted after a morning of appointments, takes a nap at his desk and ends up sleeping for over 400 years - waking to a world he no longer recognizes. Stunned, he strolls to window of his decrepit office, where he stares out over the awe-inspiring majesty of a ruined civilization… and spies an unchanged Martin wandering up the center of the dusty main street, whistling some tune not of Niles’ time.